Unfortunate Circumstances

Like a storm i’m in your life filling up the empty holes you didn’t know you had. Filling lonely hours with laughter and passion. But years can be a painful separation when it comes to the test of time, and your younger then i, now were asking whats right or wrong, good or bad. Gentle words flow into fantasies, a gasp, a touch, a arousing scene. Passion comes out in many ways, how did we end up in this game? 

Its your pain I fear the most when reality sets in, if it were my choice we’d just be two people looking forward to being together two people locked in a hug that wont release. But we are not just two people, and I watch you crumble like london’s bridge and I remind you this is why storm’s are named after people. 

When I look at you i see someone so beautiful and alive, so real I could reach through the screen and hold you tight, I held back those little words for awhile so fear filled of scaring you, we keep dancing like this we walk the narrow line between proper and wrong, but its in the place between whats wrong and right you will find me, I pray you’ll find someone better then a demon in girl’s skin. 

I wish to be the sinful reason you smile and the gracious reason you rise, i love to see you smile and hear you laugh at the silly things i do. States separate us and so do aching hearts, bodies and minds that should be allowed to dance are torn apart. And i look to you with the wonder of a blind man when he first sees the sunrise, I just wish things were different so i could be yours and you could be mine, and perhaps you’d see yourself through my eyes. 

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To Her

your the one i miss at 2 in the afternoon when im busy as hell and rushing to finish a project for school. The one i think about when violin music floats up from the first floor of the shopping mall, the one i day dream about when i see two people holding hands walking in front of me and one is just a little bit darker then the other. Your the one i think about at three in the morning when i wake from a nightmare and realize theres no one to hold. Call me stupid, call me crazy maybe i’m a dreamer and my eyes are hazy but i would walk a thousand miles if i could just see you tonight.

School Is Just Not For Me

I just got back from the guidance office, I filled out the forms to drop my algebra class and now I have the decisions to make regarding my future. It seems like my only choice of action will be to go to a certified nursing assistant program instead of traditional school. While there are other things I still want to do its just my failure to thrive in college has shown me that this isn’t the place for me. I’ve worked really hard and cried a lot of tears over these classes math especially. I’m going to try to finish out my semester in my American sign language class, computer concepts and my literature classes. I actually do not believe i need any of them but i’ll try to finish its better then quitting everything. I’m looking forward to going home soon taking my medication and crawling into bed to rest. Its a horrid rainy day and my spine doesn’t agree with it.

Molly Needs A Blood Transfusion

Guys i need to ask for help, my friend’s dog has ingested rat poisoning and she has a limited amount of time to find the money for the transfusion. I’ve donated 45 dollars of my own money and now i’m calling out to you guys to please help if you have a few dollars even just 5 dollars to spare please help molly out she needs it..

http://www.gofundme.com/h2dom8

Things I Won’t Say To My Ex

I wish i could send you words of forgiveness and hopes for joy but there are just some things I cannot do. I hope she makes you happy, makes you smile and laugh and fills you with memories and dreams that will console you on your lonely nights. I hope she makes you light as air and like your ontop of the world, secure in your love and happiness. I hope she gives you all these things…then I hope she breaks your heart.

I hope she leaves you stranded like she did all the others,  with broken dreams and a heart so shattered you feel your chest is full of glass. I hope she makes it so each thing that reminds you of her causes you pain and you cant breath because your scared of how much it will hurt.  I hope your left with nightmares that could drown the world in terror and your broken to the point that your friends no longer know how to act around you, and your family is lost because in shame you don’t have the will to tell them the cold hard truth.

I hope every dream you had with her turns to dust and slips through your fingers and her every word echoes through your head like a church bell at mass for the funeral sending your heart into the ground. I hope the pain turns you cold and rancid so you shield yourself from the iron grasp of love and that the betrayal she renders you is as strong as gale force winds leaving you sobbing on the floor a  miserable ugly mess. I hope she breaks you to the point that every time you try to go places you used to go with her it will hurt worse then any physical pain and you drown yourself at the bottom of a bottle trying to chase it away.

I hope it hurts so badly that after months of recovering when you see her with her new man and you see how happy she is without you, as if you never mattered and looks at you like you are the shit she accidentally stepped in, that it haunts you for days because you keep remembering every little word, every little lie and last I love you that fell short and disappeared into the blackness of the night because something about you, made you not worth hanging onto. I hope you suffer this fate because its worse then death, I hope she destroys you, the exact same way

You,

Destroyed

Me.