Rambling Texts You Wont Answer

I wish i could hate you but if i broke you, you ground me into dust. Theres not much left and it hurts to exist. When i even dare to think of last Christmas and when you gave me that beautiful necklace it feels like a bloated lie. Hearing you say “i promise” used to fill me with warmth and safety because you never broke a promise till you saved them all up and broke them all at once. Im dead in the water struggling to appear happy and normal to everyone. My loving friends who advise me to forget you and the hole in my heart but for some reason i still love you. If i think to long i fall into depression’s familiar cold embrace. Theres no one for me anymore. Its not fair the pain the torture the cruelty. I hope your proud. Avoiding you has become a art form and i am a master. I wish i didnt have to exist in the same world as you because though i throw bandages on the wounds they wont stop bleeding and though i lie to everyone and tell them i dont hurt anymore The only truth is all of me loves all of you and all i want to do is move on and forget how badly you fucked me up. Maybe I’ll learn to trust others again but for now im stuck crying into my nightmares while my pain gives you pleasure and you laugh at me like you did with all the other ex girlfriends. To think the kindest people have been the ones with hearts you broke. They just never loved you like i did. Like i do.

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