I realized I don’t fear anything. Everything i used to be afraid of is now gone, i dont fear losing my parents they’ve both suffered enough so when there time comes I know they will meet with death gladly. My brothers don’t need me anymore, they shut me out as it is so if they died or walked away I’d somehow be okay with it. Every friend I’ve ever had has left me for dead at one point or another.
I work hard but success is fleeting as it is for the entire world, so why should I fear never obtaining success? I don’t fear losing function of my body, it barely functions as is. Perhaps i fear losing my dog but all pets die sometime… I’m not afraid of dying, I would die happily. No I wont kill myself but I wouldn’t fight to stay alive either.
Everything I ever feared losing is gone, from my grandfather to my love. I’ve been abandoned, left behind, beaten down so many times.
I welcome Oblivion.