I had a heart once, i was young and made of glass. They say children are resilient and made of rubber they always bounce back. Their hearts and souls though are not made of rubber, while the physical body returns to normal the pain of the past lives on. I remember the words of those who turned there backs on me almost every single one, i remember seeing them laugh as they watched me cry, atleast now i don’t let anyone see me cry anymore.
Tears are exhausting, i passed out last night and slept through the night, sleeping more then I have in months but today i’m even more tired then the other day. I feel like I need a month to recover from a mental breakdown to bad you can’t take mental health days from work.
*Sighs* I did have a heart once though but I think last night the last piece of what I could call a heart died. So many friends have burned me I don’t think there is much more left I can take. Right now I need more coffee and reason to live because right now my cup is dry and I have no reason to even exist.
It sounds stupid though right? To feel so worthless thanks to one person, but at the same time its a cautionary tale. No this has nothing to do with Ryan. It has only to do with how many people have damaged me, i dont like to let the past define me but sometimes that is needed for survival.