I’m crying again, i miss him so much it kills me. I wish i could move on, there is a beautiful girl who wants to be with me and I have wanted to give things a try with her for so long. I love her like a friend a sister even and i am so attracted to her that maybe there could be more. She wants to try to be with me and she is willing to wait but she isn’t the one my soul is craving right now. Right now all i want is Ryan. Yes it has been a month but after being together for almost five years you just dont wash your hands of things. She was there for me as i cried over him and he was no where to be seen. He says he feels unworthy i wish he would stop this and just talk to me.
Ryan. I love you.